Technique - Apologizing

In fencing, but also in life, there is always a situation, justified or unjustified, where it is appropriate, desirable or necessary to apologize.

An apology should always be direct and sincere. For it to be effective and help both sides, it should consist of the following elements.

1. Acknowledging the other person's situation or harm.
2. Explain exactly what you think went wrong (this point is more important for you).
3. Take responsibility for what happened (This is particularly essential).
4. Repent for what happened and vow that your behavior in the same situation will be different in the future.
5. Offer compensation for the harm or ask what would be a suitable compensation. (This is not necessary in every case)
6. Ask for forgiveness (this point is more essential for you and your relief).

All these components should be meant seriously by you, otherwise they have little meaning. It is crucial that something changes in the situation, i.e. that your own behavior changes. Otherwise, apologies will be useless, and the anger will only increase.

Some of this can be expressed in very few words. Here are the good classics of fencing.

“Oh no, the hit was probably too hard. I didn't get the attack right and was distracted by another hit. I'm sorry. I'll be more careful in the future. Do you like cinnamon buns or beer? I'll bring you one later to make up for it. I apologize.”

Or even shorter:

“Oh no – I guess that hit was too hard. I messed up, that was stupid. I'll pay more attention there. A beer tonight to make up for it?”